Lost

Why? Why am I viewed as a 'special' one when I'm an introvert? Is being special a sin? Do I like being 'special' at the first place?

I always thought that I can focus on revising for my semester finals after my Malaysian Studies' presentation, and I can relieve my mental burden since asking me to go out presenting in front of the class is a nightmare to me. I gave my best, but the harder I try the worse off I am. Anyway, the presentation is now history and our "group" got 8/10. I don't know if I caused the deduction of 2 marks or not, but that's not my main concern and also not what I am going to talk about in this post.

So reflecting back to the questions at the opening, obviously I'm troubled by my introversion again. It will be a long post, not interested then leave ba.

Today, I felt uneasy since the moment I wake up, predicting something bad would happen to me. And yeah, on my journey to ICSJ, I made a lot of mistakes which could be fatal, but I still reached there safe and sound, but there was no parking near college premise. Eventually, I found one 'nice' spot just around the corner of Starbucks Coffee, so I parked there without hesitation due to my perfunctory observations of other cars parking there without any aftermaths. Paid the parking fees, and off to class.

Right, there were actually no classes and attendance was bad as people tend to stay at house to study for their finals or do what ever they want. Cut the crap short, I spent nearly half day at the library alone until breaks' over and I have to go M'sian Studies class. The same situation: <25% attendance, no class. I still went in anyway because I just know I won't study if I went back home earlier. It was a big mistake.
Some classmates from another section came in after me, they chatted with the lecturer. All of a sudden, they started finding profiles of other students in eCAMPUS and criticizing or talking whatever shit. Not everyone was 'chosen', but to my surprise, I was in the list. Of course, they turned down their voice when they were discussing about me, but no one knows that I'm good in eavesdropping (now I've compromised my specialty).

I think they were actually thinking that I'm deaf because I'm an idiot in communicative skills. But they were trying to discuss me when I was in less than 3 metres away from them, besides I'm sensitive to my name. I heard them mention me, so I continue looking my book lo, but paying attention to them. They lmao-ed when they saw my profile (I know, I wasn't prepared when the picture was taken). Then talks started, 'lan si', 'ji bai'(自闭 in Cantonese, a.k.a. autism. And yeah, I'm sensitive) was among the descriptions I can hear.

Most interestingly, they actually discussed which group of person do I talk to. Hell, is it that fucking important? I will only initiate a talk with people who have common interest(s) between us. I was labelled autistic for this. I will clarify this once and for all (who am I clarifying to? None of them has my contact!), introversion is not autism goddamnit. If I were to be an autistic person, none of you will actually know my presence because I will just sit at the most corner of the class instead of at the middle rows(although lonely). You can talk to me and I will reply you if I know how to, but of course not talking to me just to ask things from me every time.

Anyone knows how long was the time for me to have my closest friends currently? It took at least a year for EACH of them, yet still the bond was eroding.

5pm, class ended, went back to my car, and found out that I was summoned by PDRM for improper parking. So many cars around and only me hit the jackpot. So these were the bad things that was going to happen to me eh? Ok, I've hit my toll. I'm physically exhausted from sleep deprivation from the pressure of presentation and these mental blow. I drove very carefully back home to post this meaningless rant.

Why did all these events crush me at the same time? Now, I'm so heavily suppressed in the valley of darkness. Now, I have no more intention to study. Now, I've not only lost my aim to live, but could also lose my will to live anytime.
And don't worry, I strongly disagree with the captions.

An epic (win/fail?) day

Hmm..how should I start first? Ok. My life's easier after I started driving to ICSJ since 3 weeks ago. By that I meant that it successfully saved my travelling time by almost half of taking KTM. Yeah, I have more time to spend on my compu...I mean studies.

Everything went fine until today. It was a raining morning today, so it's expected for traffic jams will occur everywhere especially Jalan Kewajipan. And some serious shit happened to my car when I was on that congested road. Well, actually I don't know what the heck caused this thing to happen this suddenly? I was driving fine for the whole journey until I felt that the engine is jerky and found out that it was overheating fast.

That's just so great. I'm at the middle of a congested road. I can't stop my engine there, neither can I drive the car aside. The temperature meter hit the red danger zone and smoke started to gush out of the bonnet of the car. The white smoke got thicker and thicker, then the engine was K.I.A. straight. OMGness. Luckily there were also 2 people that had their car broken down before me stopped at the side and they helped me to push my car aside. At least I didn't feel alone that time. And then they identified that there's leakage on my car's radiator. Zz. They have my gratitudes. Now I know radiator coolant liquids are green in colour.

The question still haunts me. Why it got overheated so suddenly??! Karma?? Tell you the truth, I was listening to the radio reporting the "road updates"(sorry, can't recall the actual term, or it is?). When I heard that a car caught a fire, I lol-ed. "It must be some smokers driving and something went terribly wrong," I thought. Just now, I was at the verge of getting my car to catch a fire. Karma eh? Believe it or not?

Anyway, it was the Scholarship Presentation Ceremony today so I had to wear formally to college. Yeah, long sleeves, even after I flipped it up, it's still terribly hot. I'm not exaggerating. It's a congested road = many cars = waste gases + heat. The rain didn't feel cool. Plus I had to stay in my car until 10am, with a door open of course, then the Sun rises high enough to shine directly at me. Damn, I was supposed to be happy attending the ceremony, but then everything was spoiled.

Then the mechanics finally arrived at 10am. The radiator really got owned and to prevent further damage to the engine my car had to be towed. So one of the mechanics sent me to ICSJ. Luckily my class starts at 10am today so I was just late for a few ten minutes.

This stupid incident made my dad had to take a half-day leave to be with the car, and of course, to bring me to the workshop. Everything seems fine now, but suffering from that mortal wound, the 13-year-old engine performed much less powerful now. Anyways, my semester final exam will be starting next Saturday(wtf?). I hope this kind of shit thing won't happen for that time being.

The only regret I had was not taking photos of my broken Wira. The scene where the thick smoke gush out from the bonnet was just simply epic, rare as well. Haiz, no change la, too nervous already. And I sure will be scolded by others if they see that I still have mood doing this when my car's blocking the traffic. Anyway, it's good to have a photo like that as memory, even if it taste bitter. @@

Modern Warfare 2 is coming!

Nice to know that my most favourite FPS game is coming back. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 will be released worldwide on 10th of November this year in all 3 major gaming platforms: MS Windows PC, Xbox 360, and PS3.

It will be the direct sequel to the previous Modern Warfare game and it utilizes a newer game engine compared to the prequel in which the AI is claimed to be more "dynamic" than it used to be. The graphics, to me, is somewhat identical to the previous game, but the current me won't give a damn about it as I wouldn't want my aging 8800GTS to spoil my fun in this game with jerky framerates.

Anyway, enough talk and take a look at this video gameplay. If you would like to, watch it in HD quality with full-screen (if your connection is superior enough, of course)

Not bad a preview I suppose. New weapons, new gadgets, new environment, new enemies...And look who's back. Nice to see an old friend who used to fight with us coming back...err mistake, we were him in the prequel. The then Sergeant has been promoted to a Captain! Gratz mate.

This time, they are going to bundle a night vision goggles(NVG) with the game in the "Prestige Edition" package:

Sounds cool right? But I don't think it's worth it. The package would cost us a bomb here @ USD150 (approx. RM500 to us), and according to people the NVG is just some low quality toy-grade NVG they can get from toy shops such as Toys"R"US. Yeah...an actual NVG could cost up to a million. But of course, that is just some limited edition item which doesn't have much practical use anyway, and collectors would most likely get their hands on one of those. I would if I had the money too..(and, if this piece of "military gear" is legal in Malaysia).

Anyway, I'm looking forward to get my hands on the game as soon as it is released. Kick ass game yo! I will be on my 2 months long semester break when it is released, gonna have some serious gaming sessions by then ^^. But for now, REVISE YOUR GODDAMN MATHS AND CHEMISTRY VINCENT.

Rojak post

It's the time of the week I can finally update my blog (and of course, if I want to).
A picture I took a few months back when I was still on the long holiday. I was driving back then, when I stopped behind this Mitsubishi Lancer. You don't need to be a genius to figure what car was that actually. I was driving the same car too.

What's so proud of replacing Proton Wira's name with Mitsubishi Lancer? Every Tom, Dick and Harry on the road will still see it as a Wira. And it's not even modded, be it externally or internally. I remember that I overtook this Lancer as soon as I got a clear road. Yay, my 13 years old won a Lancer, Zzz. What's the point? I don't hate light car modders, but a "mod" as small as this by changing the branding and name is too much for me, come on man, at least make it look more like the real Lancer Evolution (Wiralution) la.

First tests for every subjects in my A-Level course are now history. I got desirable results, and I have difficulty understanding a lot of things that will be included in the second tests. This gives a graph identical to alternating current, the alternating results graph. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to do badly in the second tests, which most probably will be starting after around 2 to 3 weeks, since mid-August will be our semester final exam. Omgg, time flies!

The last thing to cover in this post, will be my Malaysian Studies class trip to the Malaysian Parliament Building this Tuesday. Ok, honestly, it was boring. There were no intense argues between the 2 parties(BN & Opposition) like I hoped. The big shots were also not present in the Dewan Rakyat(House of Representatives). All I noticed was some MPs sleeping, talking to the phone, and even Youtube-ing. LOL wth. That's so enjoying.
The picture of the Parliament building I took before heading back to the bus. I was in a rush that I don't have the time to wait for the girls to move out of the view so that I can get a clear shot and I screwed the picture with my finger. Zz

Because of this trip, I could only reach home at 9pm, very much thanks to the train delay from KTM. FYI I went to the station at 6.40pm. Luckily KL Central wasn't crowded with people using Seremban route.

The opportunity cost of visiting the Parliament, will of course be the time spent with my computer. After having my dinner and bathing, I could only online for merely 2 hours before I went to bed due to tiredness. However, the opportunity cost of not visiting the Parliament is very much bigger:

^^

These 2 girls are 2 of my female classmates. We took it at class, obviously. Too bad the other 2 didn't take a picture with me and I missed my class group photo. Zz. Anyway, I use how much money also can't buy these 2 pictures nia. The trip to Parliament was well worth it for I getting these 2 pictures, I would have foregone these priceless pictures if I wasn't going. =D